Saturday, November 22, 2014

Melissa Ortiz and (Uncle) Tommy Sotomayor ask 'why are Black women so argumentative?'...Here's the answer...(Remix)

"Man, God didn't give us nothin'...he gave us big lips and nappy hair..."
-- quote from a young Black women to me about her views on Black people's looks.

About a year ago, I came across a YouTube video of a woman named Melissa Ortiz titled, 'Why are Black women so argumentative'. Now, I'll readily admit, this vid pissed me off to no end, not only because I've seen Ms. Ortiz's antics involving the dissing of Black women in the past, but I know that Ms. Ortiz is a spanish woman pretending to be Black, so she can have an easier time dissing Black women.

Now, if you've been following this Blog at all for a couple of months, I guess you know by now that I'm not a fan of (Uncle) Tommy Sotomayor's; but he posed this question a lot himself, and since he's what I call a 'white supremacist simp' he's used his self-hating diatribes to rationalize why Black women are predisposed to being bitter. So, I'd like to answer this question in hopes that it gives some insight into the disposition of the Black women society calls 'argumentative'.

First off, I'd like to state that Tommy, Melissa and the general public's notion that all Black women are argumentative and abrasive is A LIE!

If you do happen across one Black woman with an attitude, this post will expound on the reasons she might have for being that way, but ultimately, casting aspersion on the whole of Black women, is another technique used by (Uncle) Tommy and Melissa to slander the image of every Black woman. 

Now, let's deal with the quote below my pictured header; this was a statement made to me by a young Black woman when I was in high school. So, for anyone wanting an insight into why Black women might be argumentative, take a hard look at this quote. 

This young woman said, "GOD didn't give us (Black people) anything..." So what is that implying? It's saying that everything about Black people is wrong; it speaks to her being made to feel that our very existence on this earth is a mistake. That her very God has cast us out of his/her favor. Now, do you think she was born with this opinion? 

Hell no!

This opinion was bred into her by the people Melissa Ortiz and Tommy Sotomayor love most, white fascists.

Now, can you imagine the pain this young woman was suffering and carrying around thinking this about herself? 

Now, that's just for starters.

To everyone reading this, and especially Black men, think about the plight of the Black woman for a sec'. Now, you understand beauty, or physical attractiveness, means something different to a woman than it does a man. It is the measuring stick the overwhelming majority of all women determine their self-worth by; and this shouldn't be the case, but that's the way it is. So tell me, how would you feel about yourself, if all you saw on TV is the image of a blond haired, fair-skinned woman being portrayed as the standard of beauty, when your looks are completely the opposite of what you're seeing on the screen. Mind you, at the time, this was back in the mid-80's, there was nothing countering this sentiment. The Black power movement had flat-lined and the order of the day was, if you didn't have a hawk nose, pin-thin lips and damn near white skin, you weren't attractive, and no one was gonna' find you attractive.

And even though I was a young Black man, I understood how this sista felt, 'cause I had been made to feel the same way. 

There was no one to tell that young sista that the Black woman was once the standard of beauty for women world-wide. Hell, Hollywood even made Cleopatra white (Elizabeth Taylor).

On top of this, think about what 'mainstream society' is saying to today's Black women in terms of dating and marriage. Whitey's stats tell Black women, she's the least likely to get married and the least likely to get responses on a dating website; and according to asian scientists (in this case an outright quack) like Satoshi Kanazawa, she's told her facial features are the least attractive amongst all ethnic groups of women.

Fortunately, there's a bit more of a Black consciousness to counter-act this kinda' non-sense now-a-days, but sub-consciously, the damage to our sistas has already been done by white supremacists and their institutions.

Now, consider that the majority of Black women grew up in fatherless homes. Mind you, this relationship is one of the most, if not the most important to a young woman in terms of her future relationships, 'cause this more than anything determines how good or bad her dating life with other men will be for pretty much the rest of her life. Meaning, once the father-daughter bond is broken, the ramifications of that can lead a young women into being oversexed and in abusive relationships as the norm. And, if the young woman's mother is conditioned to hate Black men as well, the young woman is in jeopardy of never being able to discern between a decent Black man who's courting her for the right reasons or one who means to do her harm. She could have the perfect Black man in front of her, but she'll never see him because to her, they're ALL out to abuse her. 

And as a result of growing up without a father, more than likely, she and her mother will have to fend for themselves financially; and if she one day becomes a single mother herself, she'll have to play mother and father to a child. Not to mention, the travails she'll endure having to get and keep a job...or two. 

A woman's greatest want is security, or at least some semblance of financial stability; and unfortunately not nearly enough Black women get this from Black men. In some ways, she feels like she's been thrown to the wolves without any kind of protection or protector. And she sees that the majority of the time when Black men do make some money, they share it with some plain-looking white woman instead of them. 

And understand, white men love seeing our women in this state, because it insures that the Black Diaspora will stay in continual disarray, and it makes Black women ripe for their exploitation, either in the work place, sexually or both. 

Now, let's rewind back and see why so many of our children are born into fatherless homes.

Why is it that in the early 1900's the Black nuclear family was more intact than it is now? 

Under segregation, we had no choice but to work together and more or less 'fend for ourselves. Behind this, we had areas like the 'Black Wall Street' where Black men not only created a thriving financial infrastructure, but the Black woman could depend on us for food, clothing and shelter. So much so, that white supremacists bombed the Black Wall Street on June 1st, 1921. Now for the white supremacist simps out there, should we just forget about this? Should we not blame the pale-skinned degenerates who destroyed the financial infrastructure we created when we were doing the right thing for ourselves?

Anyway, what happened next was the white fascists got hip to the fact that we would build back our businesses if this country was kept segregated, so integration became the first tool whitey used to get us away from one another, because unity is the truest power, not money. 

After whitey effectively integrated us into 'mainstream society' and told us we could now go to his schools, he created a curriculum for us that would effectively make us hate ourselves and each other. This was the second and by far most effective tool used to get Black women and men away from one another.

Now, once Black women and men were conditioned to hate each other and we turned away from our financial infrastructure to integrate with these degenerate devils, Black women could no longer depend on Black men for food, clothing and shelter because we weren't working for ourselves, we were now working for whitey. Enter the public assistance system where Black women could now depend on white institutions for these needs. And what was the main condition for Black women to get this sort of financial have to get rid of the Black man. This was the third tool used to get Black men and women away from one another. 

My point is this, it's not a coincidence that the Black Diaspora is in this dysfunctional state, this was thoroughly planned out by white fascists so we would never be as powerful as we were during the times of the Black Wall Street.

And I'm not saying just sit back and blame whitey and everything will get better, again, I'm saying, let's see what's been done to us, so we can correct the problem and solve it.

So after all this, the last kind of man a Black woman wants to be with is a Black one. Now, once this Black woman has a college degree and some proximity to other ethnic groups of men, she says, I can't depend on Black men for anything, so let me try 'something new' and date outside of my diaspora. How this woman usually winds up after decades of being with white, spanish and asian men is oversexed and alone at fifty after spending decades being a sex toy for them...just like Black men with this same philosophy wind up after their pursuits of relationships outside of our community. We think we're really doing something by dating outside our diaspora, but ultimately the joke's on us, 'cause we both wind up being sex toys for every other ethnic group.

Now, for all the reasons stated, as a Black woman, this is gonna make you kinda' frustrated, kinda' angry and kinda' argumentative

Now, if you're a Black man reading this, am I saying you should try to be in a relationship with a bitter Black woman? NO!

Am I saying that you should try to marry this type of Black woman? NO!

Am I saying this woman is hard to get along with. YES!

But consider this, and I'm talking to the Black men who fancy themselves Black Nationalists...myself included; what I'm saying is when you encounter a sista who you think is bitter and argumentative, for all the reasons I've just listed, you must see HER STRUGGLE FIRST, BEFORE YOU SEE HER ATTITUDE!


Now, they'll be some brothas who say, aw man, what kind of 'simptastic' crap is that? You're sayin' I shouldn't dislike this woman? 

What I'm saying is, here's what will happen to you if you just dismiss this sista as 'another bitter Black woman'...

First, you're gonna' cast aspersion on all Black women and think they're all like that, meaning you'll never have a good Black woman in your life, if you truly want one.

Second, you'll use this as a rationale on why you don't like being around Black people period; and this will reinforce the conditioning you have to hate your own kind.

Third, consciously or subconsciously, you'll use this to reinforce why you should hate yourself for being Black.

And this is no theory! I can say this will happen to you definitively 'cause I've done this myself!

This mentality was force-fed into us for one specific purpose; and that is for the Black Diaspora to hate itself...if you're a Black man or woman reading this, that includes you too!

Now, a clear example of how indulging in this kinda' hatred backfires on the person ingesting it, is the tale of Melissa Ortiz and Tommy Sotomayor themselves.

Melissa was a staunch advocate of Tommy's and made videos saying his diatribes about Black women were the gospel truth. As of late though, they are now feuding and talking about how much they can't stand each other.

And it serves that refried bean eatin', leaf blowin', orange-pickin' tramp right...ya' see, she tried to openly diss Black women by saying she was one of them, and being that Tommy hates Black women, she met his wrath too. 

Again, good for her a$$! 

Now consider this, if you're a Black man complaining that there's no Black women who are genial, demure and exquisitely feminine, then here's what you (and I) have to do. Get together with some other brothas and build a community where the only thing Black women have to concern themselves about is taking care of (their) children and keeping up the home you provide for them to take care of those children in. Period. This will more than likely ensure that these Black women will have the sweet demeanor of some white trust fund baby named Buffy. 

You can't expect a woman who's working two jobs, or extended hours on one of them consistently, raising kids alone and who never knew their father to be 'apple pie' sweet...that's crazy. 

But in order for us to do any of this...we HAVE TO GET RID OF OUR COLLECTIVE SELF-HATRED!

Now, I advocate meditative techniques to do this at the subconscious level, but if we can at least consciously see this has been done to us, we can start on the path to fixing it!

Black men, we have made strides individually...we have; now we need to make them collectively to benefit the whole of the diaspora.

I'm ready to put some work 'bout you?


MontUHURU Mimia


  1. This post is timely. As of late, now I have been reading on various blogs websites black women expressing great disappointment in black men. Some of the things they discuss is how many black men fail to see our struggles as being black and a woman in a white supremcist society, not coming to our defense when people of any ethnicity including other bm degrade and demean black women, conforming to the euro standard of beauty' abandoning us,our children, and the community for other races of women' etc. Some of these women say that they will no longer support bm in anything because bm don't reciprocate black women's love and loyalty. Its looking like an increasing number of black women are feeling this way.Its just a sad commentary. Makes me want to weep.

  2. I honestly believe that in the coming years we may see more black women ''expand their options'' because too many black men have fallen hook, line, and sinker for the euro standard of beauty then say ''it is just their preference''or call a sista ''a jealous' bitter black bitch''when challenged by a sista bout these preferences. smdh. I once thought that it was slavery that destroyed the black family, but from observation and studying history I see it was integration that screwed the black family. Someblack people are saying integration was the worst thing that has happened to to slavery. I agree.

    1. Nina...

      Originally I didn't wanna' touch this topic 'cause I knew if it wasn't handled 'just right', it could come off as very divisive and possibly even mean-spirited.

      AND I knew I ran the risk of possibly offending the people I was actually trying to defend.

      And I was right, 'cause that's exactly what happened.

      See, the number one complaint I heard about Black women was how they're 'argumentative and abrasive'; and as a Black man, I thought, if you were goin' through half the things Black women are going through, you might be a little touchy yourself. So to me it was painfully obvious why ONE Black woman someone might encounter could be argumentative.

      So, I went about the task of expounding on the reasons why a Black woman might have this disposition. But I made one huge mistake...

      I didn't state emphatically that ALL Black women being abrasive and argumentative WAS A STEREOTYPE...IT'S NOT THE TRUTH.

      So this was a display of my passions getting the better of me; I admit, this wasn't my best work by far. Not only that, this post could actually feed the rift that exists between Black men and women.

      Now, this is the reason why I always stressed that I and we should concentrate on WHAT'S BEST FOR THE WHOLE OF THE DIASPORA, I.E. WHAT'S BEST FOR BLACK MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN; IF NOT, MISFIRES LIKE THIS MIGHT HAPPEN.

      So, in an attempt to set things right, I'm 're-mixing' this post to include the fact that the sentiment of Black women being argumentative and abrasive, IS A LIE!

      And if you do encounter ONE Black woman like that, this post will give you a clue as to why she might be that way.

      I was gonna' respond to your comment right away, but I couldn't see the flaw in my post, although I knew something was awry. Again, this was a case of me being too close to my subject matter.

      But if you feel so inclined, hang around, 'cause not only do I know you'll like the next post better, but there's more and better to come.

      Thanks for caring enough to comment!