"I am flypaper for damaged women."
Recently, I was in an airport, between flights, when I saw the latest issue of 'Rolling Stone' magazine, on the free periodical rack.
Now, when I was an anglophile, I listened to Marilyn Manson's music. I even read his autobiography, 'The long hard road out of hell', back in the day. And he was on the cover of this airport's issue of Rolling Stone. Out of curiosity, I picked up the periodical and went to his article.
It basically told the story of a middle-aged Marilyn, who quit drinking absinthe, was an advocate of gym workouts because he'd gained some weight, and told how he was a man who was continually in and out of bad relationships. Then, the article told of Marilyn's troubled childhood and how his mother would tell him he was ill when he wasn't. Also, Marilyn recounted, how as a child, he'd caught his grandfather, who lived in his parent's basement, masturbating to bestial porn. Is it any wonder Brian Warner, Marilyn's real name, turned out the way he did?
Now, I'm bringing this up to draw attention to a question I've taken to asking myself annually. That question being: do you know who you're attracting and who you're attracted to? And even though this question may come off as frivolous, it could literally determine whether you live a depraved and depressed, or a happy and prosperous life.
I think all of us have a mental checklist of the personality traits we'd like in a mate. They usually sound, or look, something like this: well-educated, comes from a stable two parent household, is exceptionally physically fit, someone who's facial features are exceedingly easy on the eyes, someone who's urbane and articulate, etc. And we all go into relationships, thinking the person we chose, has the majority of these qualities. But we all know a friend who seems to wind up in bad relationship after bad relationship. Or, we might be that friend to other people. So, there's one more question we need to ask ourselves, after we go down our laundry list of positive traits we want in a mate. And that question is: Do you, yourself, have the aforementioned traits?
See, what Brian Warner, or Marilyn Manson, is failing to realize is a universal truth about choosing dates and mates; and that's this: if you come from an unstable and abusive household, you're going to be attracting and attracted to, people from unstable and abusive households.
And that's EVERYBODY!!!
REGARDLESS OF ETHNICITY!
And the most insidious part about that is, the overwhelming majority of us don't know this, and never will. Because knowing this requires that we investigate what's going on in our subconscious minds...and the majority of us don't even recognize the problem at that level. And if we do, we're completely reluctant to do the work to change it.
Now, the reason I'm bringing this up, is I'm seeing a disturbing trend in the Black Diaspora; despite the fact, that more and more Black people are joining the ranks of the so-called 'conscious' community. And the trend I'm talking about is, the chorus of Black men and women who say, they are 'fed up' and 'done' with each other.
Now, this may sound like a glib statement, but as a Black Nationalist, this hurts my heart.
But if you're a Black man or woman reading this, and you fall into this category, you've probably pursued, or are currently pursuing, a white, spanish or asian person, to start a relationship with.
And if that's the case, let me tell you who you're actually attracting, since I already know who and what you're attracted to.
Firstly, let me say, the reason so many of us are fed up and done with each other, is because, we've been force fed a steady diet of self-hatred ever since we've started walkin'. Especially in the american school system. And I'll repeat this, even though I've said it ad nauseum; every history book you and I were required to read in pre, middle and high school, has taught us to hate ourselves and each other. And I'm not gonna' even go into the messages we get from TV and movies. And the conditioning we get to hate ourselves, is TEN TIMES WORSE, than any other ethnic group gets. This is 'cause as Black men and women, we have the most genetic power to literally breed whitey out of existence.
And like I've also said previously, white birth rates have currently fallen below replacement levels, so now, whitey's REALLY scrambling to make sure they're not wiped off the face of the earth in a century or two.
Getting back to my point...if you are a Black man or woman in hot pursuit of a white, spanish or asian mate, know, that the self-hatred bred into you, makes you exhibit a level of desperation that calls attention to the fact, that you'll be easy prey for these people's sexual conquests. I think we all know of that brotha or sista who gets passed from white person to white person, spanish person to spanish person, asian person to asian person, etc. like some sort of sexual 'party joint'. And you yourself may be this person without knowing it. But if you're doing this as a means to endear yourself to every other ethnic group besides your own, here's what most likely will happen...
Now, understand, white, spanish and asian people, usually take to dating one of us, when the well runs dry with their own kind; or when they want some easy sex...just keepin' it real. And the fact that they've probably taken to doing this more than once, means they understand, how desperate we are to be with one of them. And trust me, this is so apparent, they can see it on you! So what they'll do is smile when they introduce themselves, knowing full well, they intend to use you like a sexual handi-wipe.
And we let them.
But the Black Diaspora is so mired in self-hatred, that a lot of us think that any attention from these groups, is better than none at all. So we go through a slew of these 'friends with benefits' acquaintanceships, mistaking them for relationships. And ultimately, all we wind up getting, is screwed. Literally.
And don't take my word for it, ask Kerry Washington and Seal...they'll tell you all about it.
Now, here's my message to these types of Black men and women who know they're being used like sex toys, and don't care. When and if you're 'rainbeau' or 'swirlgirl' dumps you for one of their own kind, please don't blame it on a Black man or woman. Don't say, I wound up oversexed and alone at fifty, after being a wet-wipe for white, spanish and asian people, 'cause I couldn't find a 'good' Black man or woman...'cause that's B.S.
You didn't look for one, and you really didn't and don't want one!
And for every other Black man and woman reading this, who want's to get out of the vice-grip of our self-hatred, I say we must do it at the subconscious level. Now, in the past, I've offered suggestions of how we could do this through meditation. And I've discovered a new meditative technique to access the subconscious in under five minutes. But this recommendation, hasn't really been well received. So I'm saying to every Black person trying to get out of this self-hatred to do it, just like Malcolm said, by any means necessary. Whether it be chanting, breathing techniques, self-hypnosis...whatever.
Do what works best for you!
But it's imperative that we find a way to collectively get rid of our self-hatred. This is the only way we'll heal the rift between Black men and women, and ultimately save the Black 'nuclear' family. And that's the goal of this Blog and it's coming ancillary parts.
Now, I've come to the conclusion that maybe it's too late for my generation to recondition ourselves out of this white supremacist induced self-hatred. Maybe my generation is comfortable living with self-loathing, and they'd rather not invest the time or energies to change. If that's the case, we should at least try to impart this information, or create some resources for the younger generation, so they don't carry around the same self-loathing bred into us.
Now, more and more of our people are 'home-schooling' their children. And this is an excellent way of making sure our children aren't privy to the self-hating american school curriculum we were subjected to. And if you, or whatever organization or group you belong to, can't create a homeschooling program, then donate to one. Or volunteer some time to keep one going. I myself and some brothas, have taken to donating to a local homeschooling program, and one of the brothas who's an educator, is actually gonna' teach a class there.
It's pro-active methods like this, that will ultimately save not only the 'pure-bred' Black men and women among us, but the Black family in general.
AND THAT'S WHAT'S UP!