Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Sistas...why would you wanna' be a Black man's bride?
A couple of months back, I encountered a brotha who was known for being 'conscious' among his peers; he looked to be in his mid-thirties and hung in a cadre of other Black men who'd have deep philosophical debates.
So, one day I happened by a break-room and heard this guy conversing with a brotha who looked to be in his mid-to-late twenties; and the young brotha said to him, "What's the good word man...c'mon, tell me somethin'..."
What the younger brotha was nearly begging for was some factual information about the ingenuity of our ancestors. He was looking for spiritual nourishment; something to thwart all the negative conditioning he'd gotten in pre, middle and high schools that told him he and his people were nothing.
I gotta' admit, I was chomping at the bit to tell the young brotha about Henry T. Sampson and the 'Gamma Electric Cell', or Dr. Phil Emeagwali getting the Gordon Bell Prize in 1989 for building the world's fastest computer, or the 'Djed Pillar Battery' coming out of ancient Kemet/Africa, which was the precursor to the modern day commercial battery...and the 'Djed Pillar' is where George Lucas (the creator of the 'Star Wars' franchise) got the term 'Jedi' from by the way...but you get where I'm coming from.
Only thing was, I wasn't in the conversation, so I didn't wanna' be rude and just cut in. So I watched what this older 'conscious' brotha was gonna' tell this young Black man, so he could essentially get what he needed to walk outta' there with his head up.
And the older conscious brotha froze up. He didn't have a thing to offer the young brotha; mind you, these guys were friends. Now, maybe the older brotha had told him everything he'd known about our people's ingenuity, so he was factually spent; I don't know, so I just kinda' sighed and continued sipping my beverage.
Then, the older brotha called over to me and said he'd liked an 'Afro-centric tchotchke' I had on my cubicle desk. That was all I needed to jump into the conversation...the damn burst and I went into my tirade about Henry T. Sampson, Dr. Phil Emeagwali, Elijah McCoy (the great Black inventor, where we get the term 'the real McCoy' from) etc. And to my surprise, every point I made to give this young brotha the spiritual satisfaction he needed, this older 'conscious' brotha shot down.
When I mentioned the Sankore Madrasah in Timbuktu, Africa being the world's first university, the conscious brotha replied, "Wasn't that destroyed three years ago?"
I told him, while it did suffer some structural damage from people who didn't want the Black Diaspora to know about it, that doesn't negate the fact of it being the world's first university. Then, when I mentioned Henry T. Sampson and the 'Gamma Electric Cell', this conscious brotha was like, "Yeah, it's ashamed Henry sold out though." I not only reminded him that Henry owns the rights to the Gamma Electric Cell's Patent, but that our people, especially the young brotha he was talking to, needed to know how the Black Diaspora was capable of creating these inventions.
That's when I realized, this guy was an anglophile posing as a 'conscious' brotha.
I raise this point because a couple of days ago, a commenter who goes by the name 'Coco Sista' posed a question on my post titled 'The lowly nature of white women (Part 2) The Black man's spell'. She basically said she only goes out with white men because whether Black men are 'conscious' or not, they don't respect her or like her dark-skinned features, so why should she date one?
Man, I felt that...
And one of the main reasons it hit me in a very real place is 'cause when I was younger, I'd known darker-skinned Black brothas who went dateless weekend after weekend and had profound insecurities over being pariahs to the european standard of beauty. And I never got the story of how sistas were really going through this too, 'cause I don't have a biological sister, and I wasn't popular with women like that when I was younger.
So, our young Black men and women are suffering from the same affliction, and not only don't they know it, but the person(s) making our young people suffer, are the very ones they seek out to make them feel better about themselves; i.e. white people.
Coco...if you're reading this, I want you to know that's why I'm doing this 'work', for lack of a better term; it's because we both, BLACK MEN AND WOMEN, are conditioned to hate ourselves in the institutions of this pale-skinned degenerate and we DON'T COMMUNICATE THIS TO EACH OTHER, SO WE DON'T SEE IT!
It's imperative that Black men and women learn to see from a 'dual-gendered' perspective; so no Black man or woman thinks they're suffering like this on their own. As a Black man, I need to be able to see from more of a Black woman's perspective so I can relate a bit more to what she may be going through. Conversely, a Black woman needs to see a bit more from a Black man's perspective, so she understands how they may be suffering from the same feelings she does.
If we don't do this...the consequences are what we're experiencing now, which is the total animosity and schism that exists between the Black man and woman.
But let's get back to the main question which is, why should a sista wanna' be a Black man's bride? Or why would they even wanna' be in a long-term relationship with a brotha?
When you think about Black love being revolutionary, and I'm not only talking about this in a militaristic sense, you should know how when you're intimate with another Black man or woman, and your Black skin is rubbing up against one another...there's a non-verbal bonding that happens, where you both acknowledge the trimuphs and travails of being Black in the midst of all this white fascism.
It's like your minds are speaking telepathically and saying, I know what you've been and are going through, at work, in your daily life, in your travels, and I've got a melanated balm to heal you and soothe your suffering. We know we've both endured the worst of what this life has to offer, and we're here at this moment to ease the pains of that daily grind; it's a symbiotic spiritual replenishing that your melanated bodies can offer each other, that you can't get from a white, spanish or asian person. This is what the right Black man can offer a Black woman.
Now Coco...you've said that you have no interest in dating a Black man, point blank, period. So by all accounts you should hate this Blog, it's message and me.
I mean, logically, you want to be with a good white man, one that treats you like a princess, and one who'll marry you, so you can both live happily ever after.
So what is it you're looking for here?
You're looking for the spiritual sustenance the young brotha was looking for when he talked to the older 'conscious' brotha, who was really a white supremacist at heart.
'Cause your melanated mind is trying to tell you something. It's making you see that the majority of our peers, who have university educations and degrees, are winding up oversexed and alone at 50, after spending decades being a sex toy for white people chasing that same dream you are.
AND THIS GOES FOR BLACK MEN AND WOMEN!
And don't take my word for it, do the research, talk to your peers, Black women...and men; and see what they have to say. You say you're going to university soon, so you'll be able to see this up close and personal yourself.
And I understand this is your time to experiment, so by all means do, just don't let yourself be abused by these people; 'cause you know where that road leads. You may not wanna' verbalize this to me or admit it to yourself, but you know what whitey has in store for collegiate Black men and women in terms of dating and long-term realationships. And it ain't nothing nice.
Now, in regards to finding that right Black man...will it be easy...I'll say emphatically, NO.
But is the needle in the haystack search for that man worth it...absolutely. Understand, that finding the right man, PERIOD, is a needle in the haystack search.
But consider this, if that right Black man approached you at the university, would you give him a chance, or would you dismiss him in pursuit of one more white guy?
And I probably shouldn't say this, but at some point, I'm going to have to set up some sort of physical forum where 'truly conscious' Black people can meet. Now, I'm talking about Black people who are about the work of reconditioning themselves out of a white supremacist mind state through meditation. And I'm not trying to set up another 'e-harmony', but there's gotta' be a way where we can find each other easier, so we can start forming some stable Black 'nuclear families' again. But that'll be in the future when I have more resources.
So Coco, I've said all that to ask this, are you willing to do the work of reconditioning yourself out of this white supremacist paradigm that's been force fed into us so you can find that right Black man? Or will you more than likely wind up another statistic like the overwhelming majority of collegiate Black men and women?
Again, it comes down to a choice. I've made mine...now which ever one you make, please put the work in to see if it will result in the best life for you.
'Cause all the facts and history are there, it's now on you to choose wisely.
Make the right choice Coco!